National Association of Women Business Owners Address

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Hello, my name is Mary Helsaple  

I am a:

Business Owner / Entrepreneur

I have worked in the automotive computerized test equipment manufacturing business for 24 years.  I work primarily in a male dominated work place and industry.  I have done everything to answer the phones, customer service, design & layout product brochures, written assembly production procedures, planning finance and maintained & expanded facilities and hired & supervised personnel.

Professional Painter

My artwork and nature photographs have been featured several time in American Artist magazine, wild bird Magazine, USA today and represented by both the Discovery Channel and PBS in the promotional materials for mass distribution of our nature programs.  My paintings have shown in New York, Los Angeles, the Caribbean and in several corporate collections including US fish & Wildlife, Department of the Interior in Washington DC,  Forbes Magazine and the El Pomar collections.

Wildlife Film / Video Arts Producer & Director

An interest in bird watching sprouted a business in filmmaking.  Our first film a 2 hr. documentary on the rainforest, done in 1994, won two television Emmy’s and is now distributed by The Discovery Channel.  Last week we learned another film, Manu, Peru’s Hidden Rainforest  has been nominated for another 2 Emmys. We premiered this program at the Pikes Peak Center before it aired on International television.  We donated a copy of each tape to the media centers to many of the schools in the Pikes Peak Region, and since the first rainforest program.  I have devoted over 2500 volunteer hours to arts & education programs in our area schools & community activities.  That’s an average of 40 hours per month for 5 years in addition to all other activities.

One dynamic is perfectly clear.  Risk-taking and making decisions makes things happen.

Striking your own path at times is risky business.  There is no substitute, as many of you know for confidence, self-esteem, professionalism and just a basic "I think I’ll give it a try "  attitude.

In all realms of my work or play, men have always held the dominant positions. 

A calm and collected presence and clear communication skills are necessity for survival. 

I could have quit and given up hundreds of times.  I always hesitated because I saw the value of sticking with it. Collecting, discovering and exploring, even the mistakes kept pushing me on.

At the beginning of my careers I learned to be a quick study on behavior, & psychology.  I had to in order to survive the intimidation and the encouragement given to women to give –up & go away.  I had two older brothers who I adored, so I knew eventually I would be included if I stuck things out.

One of the most important skills I learned for negotiating and traversing the Old boys network by altering my spoken language.

For example:  The word "YOU" is a very accusatory word.  When used to start a sentence it is often perceived as placing blame or fault..  It is best to leave this word out of the work vocabulary as much as possible.  Use it only to say "YOU" did a terrific job or "You handled that very well".” etc.  Used any other way gets people get very defensive, territorial and resistant.

Substitute this tendency with what I call the power words 

"I think it could be improved if "  

"I believe if we" ...

"I would like to ask you to..".

"What I think needs to be done is" …”

Completely eliminate the phase "I feel"...” 

Before the words are out of your mouth, the cause is lost.  To most business people even ones who care here this phrase as indecisive, weak, uncommitted, manipulative, and vulnerable.  To quote a friend  "It isn’t good poker".

Other important skills are to learn to:

Pause and wait. Wait to react.    Let the dust clear.

Don’t volunteer too much information

Do your homework, never guess or make vague assumptions.  In meetings this can be a signal for where lighting should strike. You will get nailed on it every time.  Your reputation will pay heavy consequences. 

Success, Good Communication and Mobility up the ranks requires a Broad sense of Perspective. Creativity is a must.

INWARD focused Vs OUTWARD focused

Men are for the most part outward focused.  They view the world as if they are standing as far out as they can possibly imagine.  They are looking at what they believe is the whole world or situation.  They make decision based on that perspective.  Women often times are factored in as invisible or just adjuncts to their universe. Men stand back and access their perceived domain and designate how and what they can control from that position.  Reminds me of a troupe of Howlers Monkeys we were filming. There was this scattered group eating leaves in this grove of combretum flowering trees.

Women on the other hand view the world Inward then Outward.  Women look at the whole world and search for their place or position in it.  They see themselves are part of a whole.  When they find where they fit they stand in that spot and look Outward, but through an internal lens which enables them to understand the interrelationship’s embraced by their world.  Women look for relationships and connections.  Women see the world like a multitude of interconnecting circles.

The reason I mention this is to point out that often conflicts at work as well as in our personal lives center around this perception.  Clarifying these perceptions for others and ourselves can often get us back to resolving problems instead of re-hashing our positions or defending or stand.

The glass ceiling is created out of Us vs. Them syndrome.  Somehow in the business environment all the guys negotiated their way to the other side, changed the rules and then let women into the workplace before the women found out what was going on.  This encouraged the formation of the "Old boy network".  

Prior to WW2 both men and women to had an environment within which both could gain a sense of autonomy.  For the most part, there were well-defined roles for both men & women.  Though these roles were restrictive they were predictable & modestly attainable.

I much prefer to deal with the old boy network.   In my experience taking responsibility and succeeding with it proved I was capable.  The old boy’s respect women and their abilities and once proven mentor and truly help smooth the way for those who share their vision of the future.  

I have also seen the "Old Broads" network too. Instead of fighting and comparing income levels and job status they compare children, motherhood and social connections.   I cannot talk about that many ailments, endless shopping stories and marital problems and still retain my sanity.  

The little boy’s club is more like sibling rivalry.  This is kind schoolyard mentality.  It is exclusionary and vindictive. It is a ‘take no prisoners attitude’ don’t identify, respect or like your opponent.  The ends justify the means.  It is a “me against them” perspective.  Women can play this game too, but they use a different type of point system.

Commitment and loyalty to the group is absolute.  Children, friends, loved ones and doing a good job becomes a liability if it infringes on the group.  All points are counted.  It reminds me of the old movie "Lord of the Flies" or that new computer game were you have to completely annihilate your opponent in order to win points.

Members of the "Little Boys Club" have learned if they wait long enough and withhold valuable information the girls will chip in and get the work done.  And if a lot of power is at stake non-communication causes women to give up and go away.  Stifling or sabotaging good communication is one of the most frustrating and counter productive actions in today’s workplace.

Most women know they can never be an “old boy” hope to traverse the minefields placed around the little boys club.  The most important thing to remember is respect, appreciation of others. Thank goodness there still are some ‘golden rules in the work place. From the janitor, to the assembly worker, to the CEO, our humanity is that which defines our ethic in the work place.  It is not laws, or your religion or political views, or you social standing.

All posturing over Power and Territory and Ego corrupts, whether by men or women.  It plays out every day in every work place, just like on the Serengeti. Too much testosterone or estrogen creates some weird wok dynamics.  It is amazing that anything gets done! 

Remember anyone who gives in too much to gossiping, manipulating, bad mouthing, bickering and to much socializing at work does affect your salary and any advancement.  You can get away with more of this if you own your own company. There is always someone to take he place of the people who leave.

I believe that women in the workplace bring a much-needed effect.  Women have an inherent understanding of humanity and the importance of relationships because they are responsible for nurturing life, both mentally and physically.  It is what gives women that inward and outward focus.  And yes, this can be taken too extreme.

Two single truths has remained unchanged:  

Creativity is the greatest gift to humanity. 

There are always two sides of every story, and rarely is either accurate.

Interestingly, my observations of nature and animals have given me clues into the strange, yet similar behaviors in the work place. I wholeheartedly encourage you to become a bird watcher or watch the natural history shows on television.  You will be surprised at the similarities and amazed at what a jungle it really is in the workplace.